Note: This post does not contain images of actual willies.
My time has come. I knew it would.
From the second I saw that little dangly bit on the scan screen over three years ago I knew there would be a time when it would seem to take over my life.
That time is now. The rest of my life has started.
The life where I am going to be (for want of a better word) preoccupied about what it going on *cough* downstairs in another human being.
The giggles that come from a (not quite) three-year-old as they (sorry again) explore down there are at their loudest when I tell him to stop. To pulling on areas I do not possess gives me phantom pains.
But it does not seem to stop.
I have looked up from my housework to see angles that I never hope to see again – on anybody. Angles that I’m not sure doctors and other health care professionals should be subjected to.
I could have pretended that it wasn’t happening – that it was just a one (two, three, yikes, four) off. That was until one of those days where you just feel like a soak in the bath. More precisely, as is mums prerogative (or possibly just mine) I felt like soaking my feet in Jays bath while he was having a splash around.
Cut to me straightening up from picking a towel up off the floor to find a willy rubbing against my arm.
I DO NOT NEED TO SEE THIS!!
It is willies* that got me into this predicament in the first place.
But then I can’t help by laugh. Mostly in horror but giggles leak out.
This isn’t the height of the fascination though is it?! Actually, don’t answer that. I know this is only the beginning of at least another 16 years. I’ve watched Sun, Sea and Suspicious Parents – I know how it works.
So if you hear a scream of shock on a quiet Saturday night during *insert crappy Saturday night TV/one of the millions of programmes clogging up my Sky+ box here* then never fear. It’s just me – again, being touched by or made to look at things I really don’t need to.
Hubby’s response: ‘Boys will be boys’.
*I do not know why I phrased this like a multitude of willies is what got me into this. My husband may not be amused. However, just to clarify it was just one willy.