During the evening my husband and I love a sky+ guilty pleasure hour of Judge Rinder.
This week saw a woman whose wedding day had been ruined by a dispute with the horse and carriage guy. This prompted Judge Rinder to say: ‘because it was supposed to be the happiest day of your life’.
Hubby: ‘Was it the happiest day of your life?’
Your faces right now might be as shocked as his was then but hear me out.
I can’t get on board with this whole happiest day of your life thing. Even taking the day Jay was born (because all that pain to get those little eyes staring back at your obviously makes it the best day any parent can have) out of the equation, it still isn’t the best day.
If your wedding day is the best day of your life then falling in love mustn’t have been an exciting enough experience.
The day I realised I was in love with this man who had been changing my life over the previous few weeks was a pretty good day. The day I didn’t feel scared about it because I knew it was right. The day he said it back was pretty awesome too (even though the car had broken down).
The first day that he walked into my life (again) and we got kicked out of the pub because we were too busy realising that we were both on the same unstable wavelength.
The day we finally got pregnant after trying for what felt like a really long time and worrying that it might never happen (only joking Mum – we only did it once).
Everyday we laughed together, or spent the day in bed watching Gilmore Girls (those days are long gone now) or even the days we argued. The days we went to Asda and built up that little routine we have perfected over the years of how to organise our bags. Do not underestimate the importance of a finely honed routine.
Everyday that I think back on when we did something that has built the foundation for not only our relationship but more importantly the friendship we have. The secret things that nobody will ever know we did but still make us absolutely crack up like nerds now.
Every time we had a minute of building a little bit more of us is the best day of my life.
The day we first painted the living room or attempted to wallpaper Jay’s room.
Even those nights we’ve spent up crying because we were so sleep deprived from a newborn, or when we just looked at each other and said nothing when somebody was trying to tear us down and we just didn’t care.
Because the day I signed the paperwork to become Mrs Walsh wasn’t the pinnacle of our love.
As unromantic as it may sound, it was a formality.
I became Mrs Walsh a little more everyday over those previous three and a half years.
Every time we argued and screamed at each other. Every time somebody tried to argue and scream at us and we ignored them. Every time we did something that nobody else understood and everyday we fought the world as a twosome and then a threesome.
Everyday we supported each other to go for it, or finished each other’s sentences.
Even that time I threw a cup of water in his face just for the fun of it while he was ranting (hilarious, even now).
Every day we found a new interest together.
Every time we went on an adventure.
This wasn’t the start of a new life. This wasn’t even about sharing our love with the others that we love, because we are quite happy keeping our love to ourselves.
Everyday after has been exactly the same as the days before, only now I’m signing a different name on the cheques.
What we had before was more than marriage and it was made by a host of best days of my life.
Because we don’t do big and flashy. We do what makes us happy.
So have your big weddings if you want them. That’s fine.
Everyday we did what was right for us and did a nerdy Team Walsh high five is the happiest day of my life.
It is what I was looking for twenty years.
And the best things are the ones your work for. The victory tastes all the sweeter.
And Team Walsh will always be victorious.